So I’ve got good news and bad news. The female lead as an undercover cia agent that I auditioned for? I didn’t get it. The director and producer actually contacted me today to offer me a different part.
The director told me they decided to go with a different look/direction for that role, but that he sees me in the role of the badgirl. One of the villians in the film. He told me to imagine charlize theron/ scarlet johanson / angelina jolie playing bad.
The producer told me when he first saw me he thought I reminded him of angelina jolie. And then the director, who has worked with michael bay, went on a rant to me about megan fox and how ungrateful she was to him, when he basically plucked her out of obscurity and that he doesn’t want me to do the same if I end up having to do publicity for the film. And they also asked me how I felt about them getting a team of makeup and hair people to make me look as much as angelina jolie/ megan fox as possible.
Wonderful, I get to play a stereotype. Which made me a little sad, because I don’t want to begin my career in the shadow of someone else. Are they that hellbent on getting a low budget remake of another individual? That’s silly.
Anyways, all that I could live with that’s not the reason i cried.
They want me to lose at least 20 lbs in 4 weeks because that’s when filming begins.
They went out of their way to not call me fat, and tried to be as pc as possible telling me that I may want to start watching my diet intake, because the camera really does add 15-20 lbs.. and that i’m a little “too well built” as they put it. IE thick. And I’m like, alright, so just be straight with me, you want me to lose 20 lbs? And they told me to just do it in a “healthy way.” Which is fucking stupid. You can’t lose 20 lbs in 4 weeks in a way that’s healthy.
My answer? Yes. Of course I agreed. I’m nothing, I’m nobody. I can’t afford to be anything but compliant. So I will lose those 20 lbs. But I can’t promise I’ll be healthy by the end of it.
And to summarize the conversation, they basically told me in as nice and politically correct terms as possible, that i’m too unusual looking to play the lead (ie not white enough), that my face works for their “bad girl” purposes and that’s why they want me but the rest of me is too fat, and that my martial arts skills are seriously rusty and so I will probably have a body/stunt double for some scenes.
And the weight thing kinda hurt my feels, cause I was finally at a place I was comfortable being curvy. But I realized if I want this, there’s no room for feels. And I promised myself today would be the first and last time I cried about it.
Because the thing is, being fit is easy enough for me. I can get super fit. Super toned. But skinny? Skinny doesn’t come natural to me. I’m muscular. Always have been. I’m strong. I’m an athlete. But to just drop 20 lbs? Of everything? Muscle and fat? Shit.
But if they want me to drop 20 lbs, consider it dropped. I have 4 weeks. I plan to spend them very hungry, and very overworked. Several hours at the gym every day. No tears. Just pain. Because I have to believe it’s worth it.
I already signed the contract, so at this point, it’s a done deal. I don’t have a choice. This is happening.
My character’s code name is asia. They may or may not decide to make me play the role with a russian accent. I also get to work in front of a green screen. That’s the one thing I’m actually really looking forward to. Oh and Lamborghini is sponsoring the film, lambos everywhere, so I actually get to drive one in one of the scenes. And that’s all I really know for now, aside from major plot points that would constitute as spoilers so I’m not going to give those out.
So I have 4 weeks to drop 20 lbs. Here I go.