On January 27, 2011 at a bar in Statesboro, GA I was called a nigger and had alcohol poured on my head. A complete stranger said, “Oh look, there goes another nigger.” and then minutes later there was alcohol on my head, down my shirt, my back. I did the right thing: I walked away. I refused to become who and what that stranger wanted me to be. When I turned around, I didn’t see him, I saw the laughter coming from his mouth and his friends. I left town that night, and I’m just returning. I’m a freshman. I’m only 18. We’d been there for all of ten minutes, if that. I was just standing there, talking to my friends, so innocently. I left Statesboro a couple of hours after the incident, thinking I’d began to feel better; thinking I’d be able to sleep peacefully knowing I was away from my alcohol stained clothing or the red liquid from my hair, but I was so wrong. Every time I closed my eyes I could feel the alcohol hitting my back, and I could hear and see their laughter. No one deserves that. I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I’m going through right now. I know racism exist, but assault due to the color of someone’s skin should not. I guess I don’t really know why I’m writing this. I think I’m writing this because I want to do something about it and to stop it or to get attention to the many incidents like this that have or could happen, but I don’t know where to start. They say it takes a horrible experience to open your eyes sometimes. Well this was my experience and it’s opened my eyes to the fact that maybe this happened to me so that I could make a change for the better…not for just me but for everyone who may experience this.
Please help me share my story.
man, kinda wish these people would come try that shit in ny.
do it, please. just try it here. see what happens.
They're asking you to put on a "costume". It's a sexist, personally invasive request, but that's if you take it out of the context of, "this is work, and they want a character, not ME" Not to say you aren't the one who earned it, you did, but don't let them make you think they need a different YOU. You're fine the way you are. Go right back to the comfortable, happy, curvy person you are when movie wraps. Also, don't kill yourself over 20 lbs in 2 weeks. Lose what ya can, healthily, and do you.
Man, you are so awesome. You dont know how many people ive worked with who try for years to get into acting. None of them have made it far as i know. But you just jump from miami to New York and land a role within months. I admire that. You've got that fighting spirit! Kick aside logic, any fears and doubts and do the impossible. And if you ever feel you cant handle it all, dont believe in yourself. Believe in us, your followers. BELIEVE IN THE US THAT BELIEVES IN YOU!!
whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
the reality is, its a low budget film. full of god awful facepalm-worthy cliches. this is small time. let’s not forget. this isn’t blockbuster status. this is a tiny stupid movie. i haven’t made it. far from.
also, yo it’s not like that at all. i’m very much starving. i’ve been breaking my back trying to afford rent and my lessons. and i’ve had a lot of training and did a lot of theatre when I was younger.
and i got this role primarily for my martial arts skills. i auditioned as a martial artist first, an actor second. because that’s what they needed. because i’ve been training since I was 7. i spent 3 hours on my callback, 2 of those hours actually kicking shit. i just got lucky my face very vaguely resembles certain other hollywood “badgirls” who’s look they kinda want to recreate.
also, i didn’t want to be an actor. i gave up on that dream long ago. i worked my ass off to NOT become an actor. because i know where that leaves people realistically. i wanted to be a writer instead.
i did everything i could to fight it. to put it behind me. but i couldn’t. it wouldn’t stop calling to me. so i had to let it.
but dont for a second think that this is a) something big and super lucrative b) was easy to get c) i just casually strolled in because i decided to dip my foot in acting. cause none of the above is true lol.
This makes me sad and happy. Sad at how absurd the film industry is that it turns perfectly beautiful girls into cookie-cutter stereotypes but happy you got a role. Villains are usually more interesting in films anyway. Do this, get everyone chasing you, then call the shots on the next one.
i won’t be calling the shots on the next one… or the next one after that. i’ll be lucky just to find work.
you have to be quite big before you have the luxury of calling any shots.
and i don’t want to be famous. i just want to be working. that’s all i hope for.
but if i do ever “make it,” i promise not to be silent about this. the painful realities of the industry. to hopefully talk sense into the disillusioned youth consuming this propaganda. stand up for the curvy girls, namsayin?
I think you are weird, funny and hot. In an alternate universe, we are dating.
i used to think i was weird. but then the older I got the more i learned what a freak everyone else was, and how ordinary I am by contrast. everyone is weird. i’m just one of the small minority who doesn’t hide it ^_^
So I've got good news and bad news. The female lead as an undercover cia agent that I auditioned for? I didn't get it. The director and producer actually contacted me today to offer me a different part.
The director told me they decided to go with a different look/direction for that role, but that he sees me in the role of the badgirl. One of the villians in the film. He told me to imagine charlize theron/ scarlet johanson / angelina jolie playing bad.
The producer told me when he first saw me he thought I reminded him of angelina jolie. And then the director, who has worked with michael bay, went on a rant to me about megan fox and how ungrateful she was to him, when he basically plucked her out of obscurity and that he doesn’t want me to do the same if I end up having to do publicity for the film. And they also asked me how I felt about them getting a team of makeup and hair people to make me look as much as angelina jolie/ megan fox as possible.
Wonderful, I get to play a stereotype. Which made me a little sad, because I don’t want to begin my career in the shadow of someone else. Are they that hellbent on getting a low budget remake of another individual? That’s silly.
Anyways, all that I could live with that’s not the reason i cried.
They want me to lose at least 20 lbs in 4 weeks because that’s when filming begins.
They went out of their way to not call me fat, and tried to be as pc as possible telling me that I may want to start watching my diet intake, because the camera really does add 15-20 lbs.. and that i’m a little “too well built” as they put it. IE thick. And I’m like, alright, so just be straight with me, you want me to lose 20 lbs? And they told me to just do it in a “healthy way.” Which is fucking stupid. You can’t lose 20 lbs in 4 weeks in a way that’s healthy.
My answer? Yes. Of course I agreed. I’m nothing, I’m nobody. I can’t afford to be anything but compliant. So I will lose those 20 lbs. But I can’t promise I’ll be healthy by the end of it.
And to summarize the conversation, they basically told me in as nice and politically correct terms as possible, that i’m too unusual looking to play the lead (ie not white enough), that my face works for their “bad girl” purposes and that’s why they want me but the rest of me is too fat, and that my martial arts skills are seriously rusty and so I will probably have a body/stunt double for some scenes.
And the weight thing kinda hurt my feels, cause I was finally at a place I was comfortable being curvy. But I realized if I want this, there’s no room for feels. And I promised myself today would be the first and last time I cried about it.
Because the thing is, being fit is easy enough for me. I can get super fit. Super toned. But skinny? Skinny doesn’t come natural to me. I’m muscular. Always have been. I’m strong. I’m an athlete. But to just drop 20 lbs? Of everything? Muscle and fat? Shit.
But if they want me to drop 20 lbs, consider it dropped. I have 4 weeks. I plan to spend them very hungry, and very overworked. Several hours at the gym every day. No tears. Just pain. Because I have to believe it’s worth it.
I already signed the contract, so at this point, it’s a done deal. I don’t have a choice. This is happening.
My character’s code name is asia. They may or may not decide to make me play the role with a russian accent. I also get to work in front of a green screen. That’s the one thing I’m actually really looking forward to. Oh and Lamborghini is sponsoring the film, lambos everywhere, so I actually get to drive one in one of the scenes. And that’s all I really know for now, aside from major plot points that would constitute as spoilers so I’m not going to give those out.
Just a problem with your zombie plan: zombies may not be able to swim, but they don't need to breathe either, so what's stopping them from trudging along the bottom of the body of water? Sure, they'd have to take time to sink (what with gasses from decomposition holding them afloat at first), but after that, they're only obstacle is ocean floor. Once they find a way through that, you're screwed on your island.
a) i don’t think zombies would be able to sink. i think that zombies remain in a permanent state of “freshly dead” which is why their injuries remain pretty consistent once they die unless further injured post-mortem. so i think they should always float?
b) and if that’s the case, i think they’d always be subject to currents and shit. and most animals pursue a path of least resistance by instinct unless the IMMEDIATE reward of food is present… so if you can’t swim, and you just float, you’re not going to be able to fight the direction of the currents and shit. idk.
c) you’re forgetting the rifles and m60s we have. If we find a small enough island with a cliff on at least 2 sides, i think we could reinforce it pretty well, enough to keep a loose random zombie that may have drifted onto our shore at bay. even if they get to our island, they won’t be able to do so as a horde. they’d have to have gotten lucky and just drifted that way sporadically.
Look lady, ur the one in need, might as well take a chance
OK WELL IF YOU’RE A RICH KID INTO GAMING, how do you feel about financing my operation by buying my group the plane we need?
the benefits to you: - sex with me - a spot in the group, garanteeing your survival when the zombies rise up and kill everyone else - access to my vast knowledge of umm survival techniques
Now I can’t promise sex with me is awesome… but I do promise you I know things about things. I watch a LOT of discovery channel. I can keep you alive and build you a fire from 2 sticks using at least 8 different methods. And a grass hut.
Just need a few billion dollars. (or if you’re not that rich, 10-20 million for a smaller plane will do.) Word.