p.s. thank you the few of you who answered my request for an editor.. obv i cant answer the anon ones cause they have your emails in them,. but i will be hitting the couple of you up soon! i am uber grateful for the help ^_^
so tina fey is skinny, nerdy and very similar to that girl next door type/satisfies the oedipus complex for alot of nerds.
you maam look like a busty megan fox.
nerdy girl vs busty megan fox
Message from G—-
i hope this kid realizes that, as a female, the only thing i took from this is “you’re not skinny, ie too fat to be lovable like tina fey.” yo, men, PROTIP: when hitting on a girl… weight? Dont fucking go there. I mean dont even touch it. It’s bound to kick you in the ass. Denied, just for that. But also.. I can’t tell if he’s trying to backhandedly insult me.. or insult tina fey. Either way, ITS UNACCEPTABLE, HDU, ETC.
Anyways, I have another problem though. It’s like.. no matter how unattractive and anoying I find a man to be, when his profile says he has a dog, and/or if there’s a picture of him being all lovey dovey with his pooch, im like arghghhghg ohh alright ill go out with you. no matter HOW lame i find the fella to be. it’s the dog, man. its like… a beer goggle effect. except instead of beer, put a dog between me and you, and suddenly you become INFINITELY more attractive, to the point I cant even turn you down…
hey fam, serious inquiry here, i've been applying for all these internships that require writing samples, which i've been working on, and i'm looking for grammar nazi/ english major/writer / etc, (basically anyone qualified in this respect) to edit my pieces...
this isnt long essays or anything… it’s like short blog article type stuff, some satirical, some more serious… a lot of superficial somewhat catty/snarky garbage more or less.. basically opinion pieces, nothing boring and academic in nature. and there’s only a couple of them. (though there may be more in the future, depending how long it takes me to land one of these internships.)
i can’t pay you for it now.. but maybe we can work something out? if we establish a working relationship at some point i could maybe pay you for it, or at least pay you for it with favors in return? i rly dunno -_-
but i know how to use spellcheck, so this really is just for grammar and the finer points, and hey, if you feel like giving your 2 cents of input/feedback i would not object to that either.
Let me know, just drop me something in my ask. Somebody? Anybody? =/
yo, @dykes... what's with this "i love your hair! its so beautiful" lines you keep coming at me with... c'mon bitches, step up your game.
no srsly every single gay female hits on me with some comment about my hair. yo, my hair aint nothing special, its just black. ya’ll queer bitches need to work on your approach. this shit’s uninspired.
How can that be? Because, honestly, your advice on avoiding the friendzone was the best I’ve ever read…and I’ve read a lot. I quote you all the time. How could YOU be friendzoned?
because what it means to be friendzoned for men and women is different. men consider themselves friendzoned when a female won’t sex him. but women, at least me, considers myself friendzoned when the man won’t put out emotionally. This “friends with benefits” direction he wants to take us in /IS/ friendzoning to me. and it kills me. because he’ll fuck anything. it means nothing to him.
"I’m sorry, you lost me at “i was never a star trek fan.” Next." Aww. But what if his next line was "I never had time to watch ST cause I was always running my comic book store slash dog shelter slash medical marijuana pharmacy" ? THAT dude needs a shot at all the heavenly glory, right?
no, cause that’s not logical. star trek is more than just a tv series, it has plenty of successful comics as well. so if you are running a comic shop you’d have ample time to read them and become a fan. therefore your hypothetical where this man is redeemable is simply not possible, yo.
By the way, I also have an OK Cupid account. I have my first date from it this Saturday, trying not to be nervous. But, my account's been up since September, so it took a while... So hang in there. I am... and I am trying not to laugh at your story about the dog-walking.. and failing *giggles*
its my very first time ever doing the online dating profile thing. i was reluctant to go that route, enough people sold me on it, but now i feel i need help just going through and reading all the uninspired messages. ijdekwtd.
Why the Hell would they harass u ? Unless they’re ridiculously immature
right? i have no idea why. i think they mistook me for one of the people that work there. which still makes it stupid. cause my mom works on wall st and i was going to her work office just to give her something real quick, and getting past the chanting angry folk who shouved a camera in my face and asked if i had anything to say to ‘the people in the chatroom’ and if i felt bad about how so and so only makes $18,700, and if that sits on my conscience and blah fucking blah, jesus, suck my dick, idgaf, i dont even have a job, so i make less than that, by which i mean 0. im not the fucking enemy, so get off my case. i just wanted to be left alone and allowed to pass to and fro my destination.
A quick sample of how NOT to hit on me on Okcupid. I hate this site already.
I was never a Star Trek fan, until I saw your pic. …
I’m sorry, you lost me at “i was never a star trek fan.” Next.
do you have to show your cleavage in most of your pictures? …
i dunno, do you have to be gay?
How are you? My wife and I saw your page and thoug …
yo let me stop you right there. it doesnt matter if i’m at a bar, a club, or online, the moment that husband wife duo come up to you… the answer is no. i know what you’re gonna ask. the answer is no. go away.
Srsly, i have a headache. I’m done with online dating for the day. Good night.
pick your future mate by the dankness of his bud and his rolling abilities.
not gonna lie, ive seen some unattractive men roll the most gorgeous flawless… fuck i cant even call them joints cause they arent, they are more like works of art… and it made them so attractive to me right away… god, nothing like a man who can roll a beautiful blunt.
BUT THAT IS NOT A GOOD BASIS FOR A RELATIONSHIP -_-
A hottie with a dbag problem? Call Guinness! :) Seriously, nothing new. Here's why hot girls get with dbags instead of the nice nerds. 1) actively pursuing someone in public often makes a guy look like a tool to everyone around BUT the one being pursued. 2) dbags do not care about looking like tools, either because they think 'tool' is cool, or they don't know they look like tools, and think they look cool. 3) Being pursued feels GOOD, so hotties respond. Dbags win, nerds lose. -T
yo thats a unique perspective on things, but i think you’re off. it comes down to confidence. a charming confident man is always persuasive, esp if a girl is a wee drunk. its like this, getting a girl is a game of odds. most of the time most men will be turned down. but that means sometimes they wont. you have to be persisten. n i guess only dbags bother being persistant, and dont let the rejections stop them, so sometimes they are successful, which just reinforces their behaviour.
if i were one of your students i would have to jack off a LOT. you're fucking hot, gorgeous, beautiful, and those images would not ever leave my mind if i were 16. hell, i'm older than that by quite a bit and i still want to jack off to you. with you and ON you, would be even better, though. your look makes me crazy. i want to do all kinds of amazingly beautiful things to you.
aww ty bb.
but yo, real talk, its why i stopped tutoring highschool boys. i mean they’d get erections cause they are at that age when they cant control such things, and I was sensitive to their situation, and i understand and it wasnt a big deal to me, but it was to them and they’d get so embarrassed, and they would stop listening to my lesson, and i would pretend not to notice, cause i didnt wanna embarass them.. but it was affecting their focus…
and then, because i tutored out of my bedroom, one of my students jacked off in my bathroom, and im not stupid i know if you disappear in my bathroom for 10 mins when i go to make you some tea what you are doing, and i had to fucking lysol down every surface of that bathroom, and i had enough, so after the last of my students’ final exams were done, i quit.
and yo, never again. i cant deal with that shit. i was not paid enough to have to fucking lysol down every surface in my bathroom cause some teenage boy had to wack one in it and i was worried about invisible jizz stains.
Well, to be fair, almost everything> people. Math is significantly less frustrating. Especially the whole “how do I connect with this seemingly awesome person?” situation. That shit is like statistics, and I don’t think anyone likes statistics…
i like statistics -_-
true story, while i was in university i was earning money on the side by tutoring highschool and first year college boys math.
always loved my calculus, namsayin?
(yo and dont make jokes that i know ya’ll are gonna make about how they are young boys and probably had boners. i kept it professional, mmk, and i was pretty strict. i didnt tolerate debauchery from my students. and you best believe they always had their homework done. i rewarded them with hugs ^_^ )
and yo, i was really good. i raised the grades of boys who were failing, like 50% and lower to 75% by the end of the term. i charged a lot though. their mothers always tryna cut deals with me.